A Sunday morning Let It Roll offering to the Medium world.
So its Sunday morning and I have not written my Let It Roll story. I may be the only person who cares about the title Let It Roll, but that’s ok. Hey it’s my Medium post so I can do what I want. I thought about starting a publication with that name. The idea would be for people to write at random, no planning, very little editing, just Let it Roll. I wonder if people would submit stuff to such a magazine. It is the brave way, or the lazy way, to write, depending on your attitude. You can use Grammarly. The point would be to just type and see what happens. If you are interested let me know.
It is kind of a random day. Previous days I have written on specific topics I was thinking about. I don’t have a topic today. That is cool though. When I started this I did not have in mind writing on topic. So this is more like what I had in mind when I started the series.
Ill have to get ready for church pretty soon. I have a love-hate relationship with church right now. It’s complicated, like most relationships are. I like the idea of church, I want to actually like it like I used to. I don’t like it at this point in time. I battle every Sunday morning with whether to go.
Part of it is music. When I started going to this one 12 years ago, they had one of the best musicians I have ever heard — no exaggeration — as music director. His piano playing was amazing. His guitar and wind instrument playing were pretty good too, but his Piano was amazing. Good singer, nice sense of humor and really good stage presence. The music was a performance, but damm what a performance it was. Of course even good music would be boring by comparison, but I’m not sure we are even at the “good” level now.
Part of it is conservativism taking over. It is a heresy that is infiltrating and it is hard to stop. I can put up with less than amazing music, but I struggle more and more with conservativism ideology being passed off as Christianity.
But it is complicated. I want to want to go, but I don’t want to go.
Ok here is a little whiplash for you you folks following along at home. Holy paradigm shift Batman!
I was reading Jessica Wildfire and her story today is about fantasies. Some good stuff there, about how our fantasies reveal our inner self. She also makes the point that fulfilling a fantasy does not necessarily leave you filling fulfilled. You don’t need to do the fantasy, you need to understand it.
I have a fantasy about my wife having a lover, and that’s so common its almost boring. But I figured out its about abandonment issues. She doesn’t leave me in the fantasy, she just … has a playmate and prefers sex with the playmate. I don’t seem to have the jealousy gene. I am not going to tell you whether we have fulfilled this one or not. I might do a post about it someday.
One I can’t fulfill is the fantasy of being a woman. That is kind of weird. Its not transsexual or gay or anything like that. While I do understand the wife-lover thing, I don’t understand this one. Maybe Ill get around to understanding it someday. I am not a woman trapped in a man’s body. I love women and want women to be who I have relations with. Still, it would be amazingly cool to switch realities for a short time. Maybe a topic for another day.
Sex and spirit?
So I write about church and cuckolding fantasies in the same article, almost in the same breath. Why must we separate the two? Why must we separate spirituality and sexuality? This is a beef I have with our culture and it isn’t just religious. This is more a gripe than a fantasy. Sex is spiritual. A topic for a book, let alone a post, but I haven’t found many people willing to even talk about that.
Some of the ancient religions had sex as part of worship. That is why there were temple prostitutes. Of course the Bible condemns these religions in no uncertain terms. The problem was not the sex. The problem was they were making idols into Gods, and those idols were part of the sex. Yahweh in the Old Testament didn’t put up with there being any other Gods and that was the issue, not the sex.
But at the same time, the Song of Solomon ( a book in the Old Testament ) is one of the most erotic stories I have ever read. I know people try to say it isn’t about sex, but it is.
It goes on and on about touching, loving her beautiful belly, breast and hips. It talks about her wanting to feel his … ummmm well you go read it and tell me it isn’t about sex. Sex being enjoyed and celebrated at that. The woman in the book wants sex as much as the man does. Ive seen some really wild mental gymnastics trying to get away from the sex in that book. It talks about both partners desiring each other, and then about fulfilling those desires in pretty graphic terms for the times.
Her breast have the sweetness of pomegranates, or some such.
Are you listening?
Ok. People are getting up and wanting to interact. Ive been asked twice if i am listening already. Pretty much busted. Sometimes I think id rather be a hermit back in the hills. I know people say family is what matters. I’m not convinced. I need at least an hour of solitude in the morning to face the day. Having people around can be draining.
That’s all the time I have this morning. Seem to really be into rambling. Please comment below, and remember, we are not supposed to ask for claps, So i wont.